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17 February 2011 @ 11:47 pm
i know there are probably some deep-seated issues with you that i don't know about, and frankly i don't care about them. they're not an excuse to be so vile. you think you can pick and choose who you have to treat like a human being? show some respect, you pathetic little creature. you think you can make me feel like i'm nothing, like i'm worthless? you can't. it's not fair. do you really believe i haven't noticed? you are delusional. it's not subtle. it makes me laugh that this is what you have to do to make your point.
you are not a child. you are an adult, even if you do insist on acting like a pathetic, petulant little brat.
i cannot wait until you're out of my life forever. i don't want to know you. you're poisonous and evil and i hate you more than i ever believed i could hate anyone.
Current Mood: infuriatedinfuriated
Current Music: eastenders
10 November 2010 @ 05:36 pm
i'm drowning. i never expected it to be this difficult and i feel almost as if i can't breathe. i'm scraping my way through, doing the work that's been set but sometimes i feel as if i don't understand or i'm not getting the benefit of any of it.
and i miss my old friends. i knew this would be an issue, i always thought being shy and socially awkward would severely hinder me meeting new people but it's not helped by some people. people are not nice, and i wish i'd seen that years ago. maybe it wouldn't be so hard now. i miss those people i used to know, the ones who knew me and who i could be myself around because i certainly don't know anyone like that here. i thought i'd made a solid friend in you but it turns out i was wrong. you're just plain horrible.
as well as that, it fucking hurts to hear someone you love so much saying bad things about you behind your back. i never expected that of my own family. maybe that's what hurt me the most.
and i seriously considered giving up. i wanted to drop out, but i can't, because that's not what people expect of me. i've worked so hard to be here. i wanted this more than anything and giving up now would just put me too far behind. if only there was a simple solution to all of this. but i can't even find a fucking star to wish on.
i don't know if anyone ever read my livejournal and i certainly don't know if anyone reads it now. but that's what i wanted. i needed to say all these things that i can't really vocalise to anybody.
one day i'll buy a diary.
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
16 October 2010 @ 07:38 pm
i never would have described myself as having trust issues before but i think i'm fucking developing them.
i'm definitely being left out now. it's not my fault i didn't want to go out. i thought you understood that. why is it suddenly okay to make plans without me? if i've done something, just tell me. i'd rather you were honest than leave me alone in my room, feeling like i want to go home when all i've worked for this past year is to be here.
STOP IT. i'm so angry at you right now. i'm right down the fucking hall. just stop being so unfair.
Current Mood: pissed offpissed off
08 July 2010 @ 10:23 am
If you could drop a character from your favorite TV show, who would you off and how would it happen?

It would have to be Jenny Humphrey, from Gossip Girl. I don't really know how it would happen. Perhaps some eyeliner related incident. Or an angry fashion designer attacking her because she is a fake and an impostor.
And I hate her.
03 June 2010 @ 10:47 pm
so i said i'd update again sometime in march, and it's now june.
that's not so good.
but things are changing and i have very little time to update anymore.
like, ever.
so i left school last thursday. officially, like a week ago.
after exams, i am completely out of that school forever.
which is a tiny bit heartbreaking, but there are some people i'll be pretty glad to get away from.
i won't name any names, but yeah.
revision is taking over my life right now.
honestly, there's no time for petty little things right now.
i don't know when i'll get to update again. i'm very busy doing wider reading and finding themes in roman epics and reading greek tragedy and learning german grammar and ARGH.
yeah. stress.
Current Mood: stressedstressed

I was all ready for my driving test, and then...
No. Cancelled. Because of the snow.
I'm not complaining about the time of school though. Although it's been so long I'm not sure I remember how to go to school.
I have finished my English coursework though, so I haven't completely wasted the last week.
It amazes how fast Christmas came and went though.
One minute it was all anticipation and the next it was all gone!

I suck at updating. It's been two whole months, so I never said anything on here about OMG JONAS BROTHERS or OMG BIRMINGHAM or OMG MILEY or OMG PARTIES AND CHRISTMAS AND FRIENDS AND GENERAL YAY.

That's it.
I'll probably update again some time in March.

Current Mood: groggygroggy
Current Music: The Maine - Girls Do What They Want | Powered by Last.fm
11 November 2009 @ 07:36 pm
If you could only listen to one CD for the rest of your life, what would you choose and why?

This is a pretty easy question for me at the moment.
It would definitely be Everything In Transit - Jack's Mannequin.
Because it's a masterpiece.
Current Mood: aggravatedaggravated
Current Music: Lady GaGa - Poker Face | Powered by Last.fm
24 October 2009 @ 11:24 am
If you could say anything you want to the person who has hurt you most in life, what would it be? Did you ever confront them? Why or why not?

this is kind of hard to answer, because i don't really know who the person was who hurt me most in life.
i know of one kind of terrible pain, but i can't blame it on any one person, because it happened more than once.
and yes, i spoke to them, and it didn't always turn out the way i hoped, but that's okay.
because i found that of all things, time heals the best.
and so if i could say anything to those people, i'd say:
"i'm sorry for the way i acted, but it doesn't matter to me anymore."
Current Mood: complacentcomplacent
Current Music: The All-American Rejects - Eyelash Wishes | Powered by Last.fm
21 October 2009 @ 07:47 pm

so, long time no post.
the only real reason i'm posting now is because i just got an offer from sheffield university :)
i'm so happy that one uni might actually want me.
it seems so much more real now!
it's terrifying, but fun at the same time.



Current Mood: relievedrelieved
Current Music: Lady GaGa - Beautiful, Dirty, Rich | Powered by Last.fm
i have very little to say.
so excited.

yeah, that's it.
Current Mood: excitedexcited
Current Music: Selena Gomez - Kiss & Tell | Powered by Last.fm